One fucking tough week

I've accidently left my wallet back home so it means i've got no cash until i go home on friday, well i've got a fiver but i'll have to save that for the bus home. It's gay-ass karma and her, ohh so funny sense of humour, having a great big laugh cause i said last week that i would never need a credit card. Well karma, you made your point, i could fucking do with one now.

It means that for this whole week (it's really only till friday, but still) i can't get any weed, not even any fags. It means that all i'm drinking is the few beers in the fridge and the little bit of whiskey in my room. It means i'm going to have to watch the Scotland game sober. It means i can't get drunk if they win, or more likely lose.

It means i'm going to have to pull out the old 5th year classic of licking and sticking someone else's stamp to sneak into the union on tuesday, realise how shit the music actually is, how ugly the girls actually are, and how drunk that state of "she's fine man, still standing up" actually is. It means i'll have to watch my drunken mates looking for that perfect girl, you know the sluttily dressed, up for anything, falling over themselves and looking to whore themselves out to any guy who'll buy them one drink (thats the going rate for whores in the union these days).
Well probally thats what'll happen, i've been clubbing once before without drinking, and that was the experience i was given, it makes you realise how shit clubbing actually is. But you never know, there could be a hula-hooping competition and my non-drunken state would secure me an easy victory, and the GB hula-hooping team scout could be in the crowd and i could end up in the world hula-hooping world championships.
But probally not. It'll probally be really shit night, i'll end up going home early, watch some late night poker, have a wank and end up in bed by 3.

At least i have tons of super noodles and beans, so i don't fucking starve. But man it's going to be tough, no fags or alcohol. It'll be like going to a detox clinic but watching everyone else have a great big fucking party.

If anyones looking for a fuck in glasgow, i think i'll start a wee prostitution buisness for the week. Females only.

Prices vary in direct proportion to your weight.