Playing it cool

You’re talking to that one real fucking good looking girl at the party.
And she seems to be digging your lines. She’s even laughing at the ‘funny’ comments you make as you diss the bands being played out the ipod speakers that have been used so much over the semester that the bass has become a constant distorted thump.
All the other guys are jealous, they’re pretending their not, they’re pretending their not even looking, but you see them glance, they're looking over constantly and you play it cool, making you feel like the godfather of all the yo-yo’s at this party. Tonight you are king. You almost have that one girl.

Now it’s not that i’m saying i’m at parties with only one good looking girl. No, i’m awesome and the parties i attend are awesome and full of some awesome people including some real stunning girls (Although there are often many douchebags/munters/fat chicks at the parties i attend, but that can’t be helped, the world is infested with douchebags). But at every party there is always one girl, so much prettier that all the others, or so sluttily dressed that everyone knows she is up for anything that night. She is the one girl all the guys are after, the prize for the dude with the best game.

So this is your fucking shot, it’s rap time, fire down all the lines you can. If you B Rabbit it and leave her speechless, you’ve got it, done, easy. Go to bed and enjoy your prize. Choke now, one bad joke, one ‘funny’ diss on some band that she actually loves and it’s over. You’re just one more asshole that hit on her and failed. Stand aside and let the next dude in take his shot, he’s already been lining it up anyways. But no, don’t let that happen, it’s not fucking hard. You’ve fucked many girls before her, just do the same; let her know you’re interested, yet act like you don’t give two fucks if you end up fucking her or not. Showing desire gives off signs of weakness and desperation. Shock fact: she doesn’t want to fuck a desperate or weak guy, not immediately anyways, she may spread her legs after some work and committal of resources, but you’re not fucking her that night if you let her know you want to. It may go against everything you’ve ever thought or been told, but it’s basic psychology, if you act like you don’t care she wonders why you don’t care, she’s attractive lots of guys hit on her but why don’t YOU want to fuck her. You are being nice, you’re interested but you don’t care, you must have lots of things going on. She can’t have you immediately so she wants you.

But you know all that and you know that you’re having one of those nights, you’ve played it perfectly. She’s wanting it and you’re getting it tonight. She’s gagging for it, you could take her away now and go find some room to fuck the night away in but you keep her waiting, make her want you even more. Even after you stroke her hip as you lean in to talk to her, and she very obviously pushes her tits right up against you, you completely ignore her and turn and talk to your friend. She can’t stand this, it’s supply and demand, scarcity drives the price up. So now she really wants you.

But then this happens. The douchebag that brought her to the party walks over and starts talking shit. He’s that type of guy that thinks he’s a player, he’s been friends with this girl for ages yet never shagged her. And he starts firing off all these lines about how you’re a man-whore, how one girl said you had herpes, another said you’re dick was tiny and you couldn’t get it up.
Obviously you play it cool, you let him fire out everything he has got and then you come back with your amazing come back, anything will do, even something simple like “Hey man, i told you before, i’m not gay, i just don’t bend the same way as you. I don’t want you to suck me off, you have to get over it and stop trying to ruin all the chances i get with beautiful women.” It really doesn’t matter just as long as you stay cool, act cool and retain the power.

Obviously that’s what you do.



I punched the guy.


And i didn’t get the trophy i’d been playing for all night. I didn’t get the hero status of the party i should have for punching a douchebag. No, apparently i’d killed the buzz of the party. And everyone seemed to care more about his bleeding nose than me getting my hole.The girl gave me a dirty look and joined everyone round her ‘friend’. At least i could join my friends and laugh at the pussy on the floor milking a nose bleed.

And don’t feel sorry for the guy on the floor and his bleeding nose and the blood from which he wiped all over his face to make it look worse. He is a douchebag, such an asshole who thinks he is a player. He had known this hot girl for ages and been failing in trying to fuck her for ages. And still acts like a player. My friend says that before he really saw i was about to fuck her (obviously my friend noticed before him because he can read signals- he has game) he was making a big thing about how he brought her to the party and she was so into him.

He is the definition of a cock-block. And the reason i write this blog is because i’m sure you have been in very similar situations and come across an assholes like him. And i’ve no idea how you reacted, maybe you puched him and still got the girl. But if not just make sure next time you play it cool, fight the urge to punch his fucking annoying face in and shag your girl.